Not what I knead.

My, it's been a while.  I have broken my habit of posting 3 a month, it would seem.  No matter.  It was bound to happen sooner or later.  Generic niceties to one and all.  My reason for not posting is that I have been somewhat preoccupied by getting ready to spend a few months in America.  It has taken more out of me than I thought it would.  It didn't help that I had to do quite a bit of chasing about my finances, as the ever-helpful Sefton Council decided that it was not fantastically important that I have the means to live in a house come one fortnight's time.  I applied for my finance, as one does, but for one reason or another, my application went to Darlington.  I don't even know where that is.  Now fair enough, this was not the fault of the Council here, but they were so half-assed about the whole thing I could feel them giving me the finger as they spoke to me on the phone.  They told my uni that they had no means of contact with their central office and that it was my uni's fault for not giving them the right papers.  Or something.  I phased out half way through the whole thing.  Fortunately, the situation is ameliorated now.

As I was once a child, I have a good few childhood memories.  Some of them are of places, some of items, some of TV programs.  It is the latter that I am finding a bit challenging as of late.  The changing theme music to Fireman Sam, the changing theme music and narration of Pingu.  One thing that has changed most of all is Postman Pat.  Now I haven't had time to watch a lot of this program, but what I have seen is disappointing.  See, they have taken the changing-the-theme music angle.  They have also changed the opening animation.  They have also changed the style of animation and EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THE PROGRAM.  It looks like good old stop-time animation is out of the window in lieu of the easier, quicker and more mass-produce..ier computer-aided animations.  Postman Pat has a child.  There are new, politically-correct characters throughout.  I hate talking about this because I always end up thinking I'm a bit chavvy-blinging-Daily Mail-reading-esque.  It just annoys me that Political Correctness has become what it has.  Going out of our way to make sure we don't offend anyone, lest we get an angry letter.

  This part of the blog is opening up a large can o' worms and hasn't really gone anywhere in particular so, like a gangrenous hand, I shall cut it off, only to be haunted by its loss later on when I need to scratch myself.

I like creating clips in my head of memories that other people may have had.  Or making memories and reliving bits of my childhood, á la The Butterfly Effect.  (I know the accent on that 'a' is the wrong way round, but I couldn't find the right one.  Deal with it).

  Putting things together to make makeshift memories from someone else's point of view of you, if you get that.  If you look at people living today, your life experience will have given you the views and angles to be able to superimpose them on the people you see.  If you see someone crossing the road, you apply your knowledge and memories of crossing any road and you'll be able to see what they see.  Same goes for talking to someone, looking at something, eating something. You have the viewpoint to cover what anyone is seeing.

  Try it sometime.  (I hope it's not just my imagination.  I'm not crazy).

I thought it was common knowledge that we die because our cells lose the ability to regenerate.  I honestly did.  I thought it was a given.  I read it in the paper a while ago.  It turns out that it was not, in fact, common knowledge. Sometimes I should speak more; make people aware of my underlying genius.

Well.  That's all for now.  I am very tired, as you can probably tell.  Once I am refreshed and have had enough sleep, I shall probably look back at this blog and come to the slow realisation that I may have made a big mistake.

Oh well.

At least it means I'd have had some sleep.

Stick around.  It gets better.

Ewe want what?

I do not like television adverts for books.  I just don't.  If I am going to read a book, I will find out about what is within by reading a review or the blurb on the back.  If I see an advert that involves explosions, shouting and/or chases, then it is already promising me more than it will be able to deliver.  If you want to advertise a book, either read an excerpt or don't bother.  If I see a trailer-style advert for something that has neither pictures nor sound, then I will wait until it is at least on DVD.  Similarly, don't advertise films on the radio.  If something has been made - specifically - to be watched, don't attempt to sell it without the pictures.

It's like going to a gig where the band you want to see and the band that are supporting them are of two different genres.  Why?  What would possibly drive someone to see it as a good idea?  I once went to a Reel Big Fish gig with my brothers and my dad.  Lively, personable, funny ska.  Bring on the trumpets.  What were we greeted with as a warm up?  A big welshman who was somehow fusing together metal and dance, whilst shouting aggressively at the crowd for not dancing.  He may have been lively, but he wasn't personable or funny.  Nor was he playing ska.

My point for the two is keep things in the medium that people want them in.  If it's a film, advertise it at another film showing; if it's a warm up act, have it play in a similar style to the band that it's supporting.  It's not that hard.

Rowntree has brought us some new and exciting sweets.  Huzzah.  Rowntree's Randoms.  Now.  Are they random?  Or are they just another stupid use of the word random?  (Clue: it's the latter).  I posit that they are, indeed, far from random.  I think you will find that they are all created by machines, presses and moulds that have been created - exclusively - to form the shapes.  Maybe if they just dripped molten gelatine from a point to form truly adventitious shapes.  That would make them random.  At unspecified times, with different sized drips and of whatever colour they happen to be.  In packing, differing amounts would be put into the bags.  Maybe one bag contains 15 sweets, maybe another holds none.  This would be random and deserving of the name.  These are created with colours in mind, shapes designed, approximate number of sweets per bag and to a deadline.  This is what they should be called.

I went to Rockin'Asia tonight.  It's a little club in my little town.  I went there because Beats Phatree were playing and they are very good indeed.  Not only are they highly skilled in their instruments of choice, they are pretty intelligent to boot.  A fantastic all round group.  Their renditions of songs are fresh, their sets are tight and you can see that they are having a good time doing what they do.  Cheeky smiles from one to the other, a chuckle half way through the songs.  Had I known the words to the songs they were playing, I would have been up on the dancefloor, singing along.  Unfortunately, my knowledge of pop music (and indeed classics) leaves much to be desired, so I simply sat and watched.  I'm not a dancer and I'll write about that another time, so sitting and watching a band is my way of enjoying it.  A Michael Jackson song was played.  I know the tune but not the title.  It was delivered in their ever-fresh style and was neither cheesy nor cliché.  A fitting tribute to the King of Pop.  As the night went on and their set was coming to an end, they were still spot on, showing no sign of tiring.  If you ever get the chance to see these guys play, take it.  Grab it with both hands.  Truly a joy to experience.

Well I'm not sure how to finish this.  I'm going to find a picture that seems to fit the content and then I'll try and think of a witty title.  Of course, you will have seen both before you read this, so this little paragraph is pretty moot.

Join me again next time, when I'll be talking about Postman Pat, fake memories and things that I though were widely known but are not, in fact, widely known.