Birthday without presence.

Well. So much for updating it a few days after my last post. A few weeks isn't much different... A lot has gone on over the past month. Let me describe to you a glimpse...

It was my birthday on the 12th of November. I had a really good day despite my friends, my family and my love being 5,000 miles away. I have met some amazing people here over the past few months, however, and hanging out with them was fantastic. I had a few presents sent through to me from my parents and some money put into my account from my grandparents. I opened them with my girlfriend over skype and it was one of the best birthday mornings I have ever had. Later on a couple of people went to a café/restaurant and had a nice evening meal. It was a great day and a lovely way to enter my 24th year of life.

I went to Oregon for Thanksgiving. It is interesting to be part of a celebration in which people are enjoying not being associated with England any more. The meal was nice. Littered with "Oh, you must think this is so strange because you're English" and other such comments. I did not think it was strange. It was a nice day - I got to fulfill my dream of watching an American Football game on Thanksgiving afternoon. The whole week, overall, was very enjoyable. I did have four projects on the go, but to have a little bit of time off was much appreciated. A great deal of that time off was spent playing Modern Warfare II and getting my mate's level up by a great deal. Upon my return home (after having to pay a second time to put my bag on the plane I was on), I went to the fridge to get myself something to eat. As I'm sure some of you will know, going to the fridge after being away on holiday is not one of the things that is at the top of the to-do list. I found food that should not have been found. Food that should not have been there for much more than a day after I left, let alone a week. After throwing out the inedible I was left with two pop tarts and half a jar of peaches. What a feast.

One of the more memorable things I've seen here this semester was a billboard on one of the highways. It was simply telling people to "Eat smaller". That's right. There was a huge sign telling people not to eat as much as they do. Oh, America.

Well. This post was worth the wait.

Wood have been nice.

I have no opening that I can think of at the moment. Take this as a placeholder if you want. It's not going to change, though.

I've stared a sculpture project using wood. I'm very happy. I've never really got into things like that and it's nice to stretch my wings, even though I do so cautiously. It's nice to be able to make things that I haven't made before. It's nice to be able to have the time and the resources to experiment with. I've finished a project that last post's images were relating to. I had to design a poster. It was a nice project. I think I did a good job. I've never done it before, so I have nothing to compare it to at the moment. Oh well. Time will tell, I guess.

Words here are different. Would you believe it?! I thought it was pretty widely known, but I can only assume that it's because I've grown up with American shows as part of my culture. No-one seems to know what Spaced is or whatever spins offs of their shows we have. (I'm thinking Holby City, The Green Wing, etc.) It's probably a good thing that they haven't seen our renditions of their shows. They'd only hate us more. My point is, it's been nice to have to tell people what I'm talking about when I say 'the bin' or 'cheers, mate' or 'rubbish' or 'well good' or other things. I can see it getting old pretty soon, but I'm going to ride the enjoyment wave as it passes.

I haven't really got much more to say, Im afraid. I'm going to update this on my birthday because I've had a brilliant title geared up since June, so I'll make sure I've got something more to talk about then. Oh, how I look forward to turning 23...

Talk to you when I'm a year older, then.

Tee tee eff en.

Daze of yore.

Well this isn't too good. Apologies all round. No post for nearly a month? What have I become?

Cheery corn, cheery oats, cheery rice and wheat. Cheery something something-thing CHEERIOS, so good to eat. I think they're the lyrics. It doesn't matter. My point is that there are four types - if you will - of Cheerios. Americans have five. Five. I don't know what they make the fifth cheerio out of and frankly I don't care. It's just not right. There's no symmetry in it. The spoon will be all over the show.

Another somewhat comical observation here is the fact that tax is put on to things at the till. If the price of an item is on the shelf next to it, you'd better be very good at working out obscure percentages because it's going to be tacked on to it when you get to the paying. I know, it's not comical - even somewhat. I just chuckled bitterly to myself when I thought I had enough for an item from the dollar menu at McDonalds and then had to frantically turn out my pockets in the hope that I wouldn't have the embarrassment of the staff there giving me a dirty, yet pitiful, look as they slowly pour my small portion of fries back into that little heating semi-cabinet that they use. Pah. One dollar eight cents. Pathetic.

One thing that is pretty big over here (or may have been. I'm not the best at keeping up to speed on these things) is the idea of introducing National Health Care. I don't know why I capitalised it. It just seems important. I was asked about the differences the other day. In summary England, with it's healthcare service, gets a lot of free perks. Well, it gets a lot of free everything. It gets completely free everything, in fact. America doesn't. Call me silly, but I can't see why people don't want this.

I went to a petrol station the other day with my mates to get petrol - because that's how we roll. All of the pumps were out of order and we weren't sure why, until a kindly young man came over and informed us that they were too full. Too full. There was too much petrol in their reserve to sell us a few gallons. Just when I started to get my head around the way this country works, BAM. Curveball. I don't know how long the people who owned the station have been in business; and I myself have no business sentience, if I may use that term, but I would like to think that I at least know that selling what your property is renowned for selling - expected to sell, I would go as far as saying - is at the very least the bottom line. The base of all sales. The bread and butter. But I've never owned a petrol station. They call them gas stations here anyway, but that is a whole post by itself.

Actually... Who's up for some crazy word comparisons next time we're here? I know I am.

I'll make a note.

kisses

Didn't get court.

A pregnant girl I know thinks that airplanes are part of a conspiracy to get money out of us people.  She thinks that it is perfectly viable to dig big holes through the crust of the earth and slide to wherever it is we want to get to.  Sometimes I weep for the future of humanity.

I like to think that my ramble filter is working well, but I haven't posted anything for a while.  After reading that again, I think I may have just put the two together...

Melissa came up to see me on the Thursday before Labour Day weekend.  Labour Day is an equivalent here of a bank holiday back home.  They just feel the need to give it a flashy name.  She came up from Lavaca to Warrensburg (bonus points if you can find either on a map) on the Thursday and then on the Friday, I drove back so we could spend some time with her family.  It's the first time I've driven properly here and it was amazing.  It's a six hour drive and I drove for five hours.  In those five hours, I had to turn at a junction about four times.  It's brilliant.  I also made great use of the cruise control.  Get up to speed, hit cruise control, move your legs back into a more comfortable position and then only worry about steering.  We got back to Lavaca when it was dark and I can't really navigate my way round at the best of times.  Moving into the turning lane too early, I got back on to the main road.  Moving in again early, I started to move back to the main road but then realised it'd be easier to stay there.  After turning, I saw some headlights.  Asking Melissa if it was the police, she confirmed my fears that it was, indeed, the 5-0.  I won't bore you with the details, but they pulled me over and took my details (as they do with everyone they pull over, regardless of why they are pulled over).  We were let off at least one ticket because the guy knew Melissa's family.  Turns out he's a weirdo.  But my point is I was driving for 5 hours and then in the last 5 minutes of the journey, I got pulled over by the Fuzz.  Ramble filter: rusty.

I heard that there's a town or State nearby that is thinking of introducing the sale of deep fried butter.  DEEP.  FRIED.  BUTTER.  Missed out on a trick there, Scotland.  SATIRE.

I am in dire need of what I believe is known as 'filler'.  Normally, I have enough to talk about.  In future, I will have enough to talk about.  At the moment, I am stuck.  My lady has left for the UK and I will not be seeing her until the 19th of December.  I'm not really in the mood for being witty this evening.  (Because I am the rest of the time HAHAHAHAA).  I guess this is the equivalent of a teacher letting you out of class early.  You're expecting a bit more, but you don't really want to be here, you know?  You know.  Go on, kids.  Scarper.

Quite a weight.

It's been a good while.  And I'm sorry.

This little blog post is simply to inform you good people that I will update this blog once more tomorrow with a message of more substance.

Not that this message is completely empty - there are plenty of words.  I'll post a picture, too.

...

<--- Here you go.

Now you have nothing to complain about.

See you tomorrow, when I'll be talking about my brush with Bobby Law, amongst other things.

Tie food.

Being in America makes it hard to observe things in England and make potentially hilarious commentary on them.  Fortunately, I smuggled my notebook over.  Within its sleek black walls, its off-white, lined pages have literally sentences full of witty perceptions of life in the UK.  Once the reservoir of material has run dry (probably by the next post HAHA), I shall attempt to draw comparisons of life here and there.  Look forward to it.  It might be good.

I've had to put my stamp collecting on hold whilst I'm here.  I was doing well - I was up to about 20.  I do admit I have cheated a bit, though.  A few of the stamps came on the same envelope.  Oh snap.  Was that a joke?  A beautiful four-liner, if ever there was.

I don't like the fact that in most toilet cubicles, one has to straddle the toilet in order to successfully get out of the way of the arc of the door and close the door itself.  Which way do you stand?  Back to the porcelain, legs akimbo, chancing the awkward eye-catch of a fellow restroom-goer?  Back to the rest of the place, bracing yourself against the wall in the desperate hope that it has been cleaned in at least the last 24 hours?  At least if you go for the latter, you can casually flick the door closed behind your back.  But pray that you do.  If you don't you run the risk of leaning back onto the door and having it push you back against the wall and further towards the toilet.  Much to the merriment of the four other gentlemen in the cinema restrooms.

I have been trying to learn snippets of different languages while I'm here.  To say hello, at least, in as many languages as I can.  I've got quite a few down.  Konichiwa.  Sin Chou.  Nei Hou.  Ketcha.  Anyon.  Chescht.  Salut.  Hola.  Tschuss.  Hej.  Howdy.  Sawat Dee.  etc.  These are in no way spelt the way they are meant to be, it's just how I picture them being pronounced.  In our alphabet, at least.  I also know 'monkey' in Mandarin:  Hoú-zi.  One of the funniest things you can hope to experience is a group of international students who are all very, very tired.  When accents start to slip, it is amazing.  Once of my friends just started speaking Hindi to another friend who is Born and Bred American.  Too tired to realise!  Immerse yourself in culture.  Meet people from outside the country and don't be afraid to talk to them about it.  If they have a foreign accent, don't be afraid to ask where they're from.  Unless they're Welsh.  It's best to avoid them in that case.

Maybe I have a little bit left in the well of my notepad.  We'll see.  I'll be sure to make some comical observations as the days go by.

Good talking to you.

In one peace.

I saw my first ever armadillo the other day.  They look pretty cool.  I couldn't describe to you their temperament because I was in the car and couldn't really stop and even if I could get to it, it was roadkill.  But it was an armadillo.

I am in America.  Land of the free, home of the brave, standing room only.  I spent a week with a beautiful girl in sunny, sunny Arkansas.  Like a true Brit, I went on about the weather more than I needed to, but who else was representing the country?  I did my best.  It's pretty humid on top of being rather warm.  On one of the nights, we sat outside at 3:30 in the morning and it was as warm as the day back home.  The thunderstorms here are something to write home about, so I'm going to write home about them.  They are big.  NOTHING HERE IS DONE IN SMALL DOSES.  Rolling thunder hangs round for hours at a time with very little rain to show for it.  If it does rain, the humidity keeps the ground wet longer than the heat itself would allow.  The roads and the cars are all bigger.  The products in the shops are all bigger.  Most of the people I have met at the moment are other exchange students, so I cannot vouch for myself just yet when I say all the people are bigger...  It is a wonder to behold.  I have been fortunate to have been here 4 times now, so I'm somewhat expectant as to what things are like here, but it never ceases to amaze me how much bigger things are.

The insects here are pretty big.  I was chasing a mantis that was nearly as long as my hand.  There are beetles the size of my thumb, grasshoppers the size of my fingers and... other... big insects.  I can't think of any more right now.  Once I find my card reader, I'll post some pictures of everything here, but for the moment, just imagine it.  You know the black Ground beetles at home?  The ones that run like the wind when you move the rock they're under?  Yea.  They are about 1.5 - 2 inches here.  It's like some sort alternate dimension where the insects are bigger.  Or the people are smaller.  I haven't decided yet.

My week was amazing.  It started fairly badly.  I was at gate G8 in Chicago, Illinois, waiting to fly out to Tulsa, Oklahoma.  I was reading a magazine and looking out of the window when I noticed the bags from the plane at G8 getting unloaded.  I kept looking back and forth and after a while, I saw my bags along with a few other people's bags.  All of a sudden, there was an announcement for all who are waiting for the plane to leave from G8 were to move to gate G12 instead.  I went there, along with everyone else, but noticed that the bags didn't appear to have come with us.  They were sat by another plane no more than 40 metres away from the plane they were meant to be on.  No worries, I thought, This is Chicago.  One of the biggest International airports in the world.  They'll deal with this sort of thing every day - why wouldn't they do the same today?  So I got on the plane and went to Tulsa.  Standing at the carousel at the baggage claim in Tulsa, I realised that my bags had not, in fact, got on the plane after all.  Neither had the few other people's bags.  They had obviously gone to wherever the plane at G8 had gone to.  I still don't know where that was, but it didn't really matter.  A few days later, m'lady's mum kindly picked them up for me from Fort Smith airport (as "deliver[ing] them to your house" over here evidently means "deliver[ing] them to an airport that is out of the way and at a time when the need for clothes within the luggage has long since passed").  THANKS AMERICA.  YOU ARE A BIG HELP.

At 4' 11", with firey-red hair and sea-green eyes, my girlfriend is gorgeous.  Combine this with her heart for God, her love for the people around her and her integrity and sincerity, you have yourself one of the most beautiful people you will ever have the chance to meet.  The way her nose crinkles when she smiles, the bounce in her step and her unreserved giggle just adds to that.  A beauty pageant winner and an ex-cheerleader on top of all this, I can safely say that she is more than out of my league.  I have done for too well for myself.  But don't tell her that.

I had an amazing time with her.  We did errands and things.  Picked stuff up for people, went to various places.  Nothing massive, but it was perfect.

Oh, goodness.  Sorry lads.  I went all sloppy.  I shall go and buy a gun from Wal*mart and shoot down a tree.  Maybe redeem some manpoints.

We came up to Missouri at the weekend so I could get settled in my accommodation.  It's like a resort!  I have my own room and sink and although I share a flat with 4 people (and a pathetic dog), we have 1 shower between 2.  There is also a swimming pool outside.  It's got a volleyball net across it, a volleyball in it and a hot tub on the side.  A big fire pit-type construction stands beside it, with a BBQ on either side of that.  Indoors, there is a movie room with big, cupholder-endowed arms, a pool table and a little gym.  I went there tonight and I am now tired, hence the blog.

I am going to start another blog for the sole purpose of this trip.  It'll be cool.  Depending on how many pictures I get, I'll make it a bit more picture-orientated.  I am wanting to make it into a book at the end, but I'll need numbers or something if it's going to be worth it.  Eh.  It's worth a thought.

I am off for the night, folks.  I shall try and talk here again soon.

Smooches.