
The Bible talks about how we fall away from our first love - that our first love is Christ whether we knew it or not.
I have been blessed in that I knew this before I started dating. I gave my life to Christ at the age of six. I didn't start living in a way that showed it fully until the later years of high school, when my friends and classmates treated my as their go-to guy in Religious Education classes for thoughts and reasons on and for different things people experience and how it was all related to God. I was the only known Christian in my year - a year group of about 200 or so people - so this made me want to do the best I could to answer these questions. It pushed me to read about questions I might get next week or to look for an answer that I couldn't give this week. I grew a lot in that time and it was because I was preparing to defend my faith and give an account of what I believe and why. It was a great time!
But before that I lived a semi-regular pre-teen and early-teen life. I wasn't drawn to drinking or sleeping around as most of my friends seemed to be. I guess that was God protecting me. I never saw the attraction. Of drinking, anyway. Anybody who is anybody can attest to not having sex being a difficult thing to do. Or not do. These two things I held onto - sometimes as the things themselves, rather than the reasons behind not doing them. But I did hold onto them. I could never quite let them go and I think that it helped me a lot in my faith. When there were times I wanted to forget everything or whatever, I didn't want to break this record, if you will. But God uses that. I look up to my dad who is an incredible man and has never been drunk. It's something that most of my friends can't claim, yet he is twice their age. He's an amazing guy and it's something that I want to emulate. As for sex, the first time I did that was June 4th, 2010. The night of my marriage. I can safely say it was more than worth it. I can't quite describe how much more than worth it it is, but let me make it known that God honours those who honour Him. With their finance, with their minds, with their actions, with their bodies. With their lives.
Humanly speaking, my first love was a girl called Samantha. We were primary school girlfriend and boyfriend. Even when girls were gross and boys were smelly. We would have dated forever if we hadn't gone to different high schools. Fortunately, that mindset changed for me later on in life as my wifey is from Arkansas; 5,000 miles from where I grew up. That's a God thing. If there's no week for that, I'll tell you the story anyway.
Samantha and I got married several times in the schoolyard, played Tig nearly every day (Tig is the same as Tag for you, American) and spent a whole lot of time at each others' houses having lunch and playing with Mighty Max and Polly Pocket. I think we played Yahtzee once. She rolled all sixes on her first go when I wasn't there. I never got the lead; not for the whole game.
We grew up and went our separate ways. The relationship is now what any relationship is like 14 years after it stops. Nice memories, though.
My wifey is incredible. I will love her for the rest of my days. She completes me and complements me. Sometimes compliments me. Zing. My love for her is overflowy. But I love God so much more. And so does she. This is why we work. This is what keeps us together and holds us tight.
My first love is my last love. That's how I'm made. That's how we're made. Sometimes we forget and sometimes we just need showing in the first place. Your first love is God whether you know it, whether you've said it, whether you've been told yet. Until you have it, it's that feeling of something missing. It's that pull for something more. It's that still, small voice that calls out your name in that direction you're unsure of. Until you follow it, you won't realise that God's been there with you from the beginning. That's a dangerous thing, because a lot of people want to try and tell you that that feeling is something different; that it can be made quiet by living a certain way or that it can be satisfied by doing certain things. Whether that's taking something, looking at something, doing something, listening to someone or something or even refusing to listen to someone or something. There's a lot of stuff out there that tries to fill the hole in our lives that only God can fill. Just be wary. He wants the best for you.
So that's it. My first girlfriend was from Churchtown - same village as me. We grew up a bike ride away from each other. We were in the same class (RH, 1H, 2E, 3H, 4K, 5M and 6B), parting ways after that. She went to Stanley High School and I to Tarleton High School. She had a tamagotchi for a while but it kept dying; I had mice.
That's what I can remember at the moment, anyway.
Peace.