Nothing to sea here.

WARNING.  I AM GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT THE FILM 'X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE'.  IF YOU'VE NOT SEEN IT YET AND DON'T WANT IT SPOILING (sort of); THEN DON'T READ IT.

So.  I am going to attempt to review the film.  I'll give it a go, anyway.

I went to see X-men Origins the other day.  Now I am a bit of a geek when it comes to comics and the films based on them.  I am from the crowd that thinks the Marvel films only really became..  well... good.. when Marvel studios stepped on board and gave Iron Man a hand.  Iron Man was a great film.  One that I'd watch right now - and I'm tired.  The X-men Origins (Origins from hereon in) film was a mix of comfortable, reliable, exciting, intriguing and downright disappointing.  And here's why.

It was comforting to go to the cinema and know that I was going to be watching a good film.  The Trilogy of yore was excellent at first, then it got a little bit better, then it got a bit too big for itself and went a bit rubbish.  There's only so much a film can do in terms of visual effects and, indeed story length.  Especially when they are based on graphic novels.  Comics leave at least a bit up to the imagination and a series has the time to spin things out.  A feature film does not have much of either.  The effects - dazzling as they may be - do a lot to try and fulfill the imagination, leaving very, very little for the viewer to put in themselves.  It is also restricted to a couple of hours to tell a story that has had years to develop - and that has also had years to gather a massive fan base.  Even so, I was fairly secure in the knowledge that enough Marvel-based films have been made and that a lot has been learnt from them.  Comforting.

Hugh Jackman put his name on the line again as the ever-excitable wolverine.  Having become the face of Logan in the previous-but-future-films, he had really bought the character to life on-screen.  It was good to see that he hadn't given up the role to someone else in order that they could play the younger him - as a few have done in the past.  It gave me the feeling of reliability - that if he were to play the character again, he wouldn't tarnish the role with some second-rate acting and a bad script.  The on-screen character is - arguably - his creation, and it is something that he would not want to diminish.  His presence in the film made for a reliable story line and this is another reason I was excited to watch it.

It is always exciting to see a film with so many minor supporting roles.  Especially X-men.  Whatever I feel about the Trilogy, I enjoyed seeing the mutants' powers come to life.  Comics do make you use your imagination, but sometimes it is nice to just chill out and let it happen itself.  I was eager to see which mutants would be in Origins - the ones that are named and the ones that would appear as more of a surprise.  Gambit, the Blob and Sabretooth were all in the trailers in some way or another.  There was also John Wraith, who teleported in a similar way to Nightcrawler, but without the BAMF; Agent Zero, who was a pretty sharp shot with the old pistols; and Dominic Monaghan's character Bolt.  I think he could telepathically control electrical things.  His slowly-closing-eyes-whilst-raising-his-fingers-to-his-head gesture got tiring the first time he did it.  A very nice surprise was the katana-wielding smartmouth, Wade.  That's right.  Wade Wilson.  Deadpool.  More about him later.

  It's always nice to see how producers/directors interpret the different powers the characters have and the way they realise them on-screen.  From the first time Wolverine 'Snikked' his claws out to the way Gambit's kinetic energy manipulation shows itself along the details of the cards he wields.  The little things that are thrown in are a joy to look out for.

Now.  Let's bring it back to Deadpool.

  I can appreciate the fact that Wolverine's claws always come out from between his knuckles, regardless of how his hands are positioned.  If his hands were angled as if he were doing press ups, the claws would come out through his palms.  But they don't.  I can let it slide.

  I can understand that to get the effects of Wolverine's healing factor, the camera stays close up on him for a while, so the effects guys can do their thing and show us his flesh sewing up.  I can overlook the fact that this has happened in EVERY FILM HE'S BEEN IN but it's just because people want to see it happen up close.  I can get over that.

  Deadpool.  Now, Deadpool is one my favourite characters that Marvel has thrown up.  I've read more Deadpool than I have anything else.  It's because he is a good character.  A great character.  I urge you to read some Deadpool.  The basic story regarding him is that he got skin cancer and from the Weapon X project, he was given a modified healing factor taken from Wolverine.  Not, as this film would have you believe, EVERY POWER FROM ALL THE MUTANTS THAT STRYKER CAME ACROSS AND LOOKED GOOD.  They completely ruined the character by giving him every power shown to us throughout the film and then killing him off at the end.  Deadpool is a witty mercenary.  The fact that he has the healing factor means that he is more cocky, less tactful and less stealthy than your average merc.  WHICH IS WHY HE IS GOOD.  They really missed a trick by not having a Deadpool film.  Or at least more involvement on his part in this film.  Ryan Reynolds was playing him, too.  Could they be more stupid to turn down a chance like this?

Oh and the pictures?  The first one is Deadpool fighting off a crowd of clowns.  The second one is Deadpool punching Wolverine's girlfriend in the face so that Wolverine will fight him.  I rest my case.

It's got me so Nerdraged that it's made me want to speak in ALL CAPITALS.  MAYBE ITALICS AS WELL.

Well, that went well.

I don't think it was the best review ever, but I had to vent my inner Nerd's rage.

I'll be back with a more calm and undoubtedly better post sometime in the future.

As for now, I am going to bed.

Goodnight.