My deer, Melissa.

June 4th. 2010. I got married. The fourth most significant day of my life. In first place, we have November 12th, 1986. Quite significant, I hope you'll agree. It's when I was born. Second; one Sunday in 1992, when I gave my life to Christ and decided to follow Him. Third was September 15th, 2009, when my girlfriend became my fiancée.

Looking back at her prayer journals, we found out that exactly a year ago on the day of our wedding, I'd asked if we were together. She said no. It's been quite a year...

When our friends talk about being in long-distance relationships we are, at first, sympathetic. It is hard being apart. Even when it's working well and going smoothly, it's still quite the task to keep it working well and going smoothly. But when they reveal that they are a whole three hours away - by train, no less - then we become a little less condoling. You see while we were dating, Melissa and I were - at the closest - 6 hours away from each other by car. Really long distance. For the first two and a half weeks, we were together in America, one week in Arkansas - her home State - and two and a half weeks in Missouri, where I studied for the year. After that, we were apart for 5 months whilst she did an internship for a church in my hometown. We were now about 8 hours apart. By plane.

What I want to talk about is pretty taboo in the church at the moment. It's mentioned, but seldom talked about. We know that it's on everyone's mind, yet we only really keep it superficial. "How do you feel about it?" "Alright, I guess." "OK." Next question.

This is true to me, too. I don't know my friends' thoughts or positions on the subject.

Sex. The what-to-do and the what-to-not-do in a Christian life. Everyone says that the Bible tells us not to have sex before marriage. While this is true, I've not met too many people able to tell me where this is from. The Bible doesn't outright say not to have sex before marriage - it tells is not to commit adultery. Which is sex outside of marriage. As in - if you're not married to someone, don't have sex with them.

I've waited my whole life for my wife. I'm 23 years old and then some. I can tell you in all honesty that sex is worth the wait. I can tell you from experience that sex is worth the wait. I can tell you that having waited for over 23 years that sex is worth the wait.

Through this last year, when the deadlines for my classes came along, I was working as hard as I could. I don't think that there's a much better feeling than going into class on the last day and seeing everyone frantically getting work together or drawing it really quickly and shoddily in an attempt to meet the deadline whilst you sit aside, knowing that all you have to do is wait for the teacher to some in and collect the work.

It's a much, much better feeling knowing that on my wedding night I will give my life saving to my wife. The best gift I can give is myself. I know that a lot of people roll their eyes and think that calling myself and calling sex 'the best gift I can give' is soppy and wet and outdated, but I challenge you to find a better gift. A set of wine glasses more beautiful than your most intimate moment. Silverware with a gleam that outshines the twinkle in their eyes. I can't think of any other wedding gift examples, but you get my point. There's nothing you can buy, nothing that you can be given, that will be as valuable as your virginity. Big word. It's not as heavy as you think.

Two more things. One - I would argue to the death that waiting is what makes you the man. It's not the sex. If we're going to chalk up number of times you've had sex and work out how manly you think that makes you, then I know plenty of dogs and a fair few cats with more manhood than you. "Oh, but Dan, everyone does it and I love them, etc." No. Not everyone does it and if you truly love them you can wait. When has self-control been a weakness? When has self-control been unattractive?

Two - why be so scared of commitment? That's the only thing I can think of being the reason to not get married. I mean. If you're in a long-term relationship and you're living as if you're married, what's so hard about actually getting married? What's so difficult about putting a weekend aside and showing and telling people how important your partner is to you? Is that too much? If it is, then is that love?

Truth is, waiting is great. Truth is, we're blessed if we do. The truth is also this - that if you made one mistake once, make this a regular thing, or everything in between, you can still put things on hold and wait. You can be renewed. That's when my God is in the business of doing. He can help you.

It's worth it.

Oh. The deer in the title is a Songs Of Solomon reference. Well done if you got it. 10 points.