My deer, Melissa.

June 4th. 2010. I got married. The fourth most significant day of my life. In first place, we have November 12th, 1986. Quite significant, I hope you'll agree. It's when I was born. Second; one Sunday in 1992, when I gave my life to Christ and decided to follow Him. Third was September 15th, 2009, when my girlfriend became my fiancée.

Looking back at her prayer journals, we found out that exactly a year ago on the day of our wedding, I'd asked if we were together. She said no. It's been quite a year...

When our friends talk about being in long-distance relationships we are, at first, sympathetic. It is hard being apart. Even when it's working well and going smoothly, it's still quite the task to keep it working well and going smoothly. But when they reveal that they are a whole three hours away - by train, no less - then we become a little less condoling. You see while we were dating, Melissa and I were - at the closest - 6 hours away from each other by car. Really long distance. For the first two and a half weeks, we were together in America, one week in Arkansas - her home State - and two and a half weeks in Missouri, where I studied for the year. After that, we were apart for 5 months whilst she did an internship for a church in my hometown. We were now about 8 hours apart. By plane.

What I want to talk about is pretty taboo in the church at the moment. It's mentioned, but seldom talked about. We know that it's on everyone's mind, yet we only really keep it superficial. "How do you feel about it?" "Alright, I guess." "OK." Next question.

This is true to me, too. I don't know my friends' thoughts or positions on the subject.

Sex. The what-to-do and the what-to-not-do in a Christian life. Everyone says that the Bible tells us not to have sex before marriage. While this is true, I've not met too many people able to tell me where this is from. The Bible doesn't outright say not to have sex before marriage - it tells is not to commit adultery. Which is sex outside of marriage. As in - if you're not married to someone, don't have sex with them.

I've waited my whole life for my wife. I'm 23 years old and then some. I can tell you in all honesty that sex is worth the wait. I can tell you from experience that sex is worth the wait. I can tell you that having waited for over 23 years that sex is worth the wait.

Through this last year, when the deadlines for my classes came along, I was working as hard as I could. I don't think that there's a much better feeling than going into class on the last day and seeing everyone frantically getting work together or drawing it really quickly and shoddily in an attempt to meet the deadline whilst you sit aside, knowing that all you have to do is wait for the teacher to some in and collect the work.

It's a much, much better feeling knowing that on my wedding night I will give my life saving to my wife. The best gift I can give is myself. I know that a lot of people roll their eyes and think that calling myself and calling sex 'the best gift I can give' is soppy and wet and outdated, but I challenge you to find a better gift. A set of wine glasses more beautiful than your most intimate moment. Silverware with a gleam that outshines the twinkle in their eyes. I can't think of any other wedding gift examples, but you get my point. There's nothing you can buy, nothing that you can be given, that will be as valuable as your virginity. Big word. It's not as heavy as you think.

Two more things. One - I would argue to the death that waiting is what makes you the man. It's not the sex. If we're going to chalk up number of times you've had sex and work out how manly you think that makes you, then I know plenty of dogs and a fair few cats with more manhood than you. "Oh, but Dan, everyone does it and I love them, etc." No. Not everyone does it and if you truly love them you can wait. When has self-control been a weakness? When has self-control been unattractive?

Two - why be so scared of commitment? That's the only thing I can think of being the reason to not get married. I mean. If you're in a long-term relationship and you're living as if you're married, what's so hard about actually getting married? What's so difficult about putting a weekend aside and showing and telling people how important your partner is to you? Is that too much? If it is, then is that love?

Truth is, waiting is great. Truth is, we're blessed if we do. The truth is also this - that if you made one mistake once, make this a regular thing, or everything in between, you can still put things on hold and wait. You can be renewed. That's when my God is in the business of doing. He can help you.

It's worth it.

Oh. The deer in the title is a Songs Of Solomon reference. Well done if you got it. 10 points.

[sic]

My fiancée's dog got hit by a car last week. Not the nicest of news to start with, but rest assured I felt a bit worse than you, the reader, as not one week before that, I took that dog by the head, cradling it gently, looked him square in the eyes and in the sweetest voice I could muster, said "You're not going to heaven, because you haven't got a soul." ... Yea, I felt a little bad.

One thing that I've been thinking of lately is algebra. I don't know why. I got a C in my GCSE maths and I pretty much left it there. I'm good at remembering numbers, but not so much working them out and making them do things. I just don't get algebra. I don't know much about maths, but adding letters to an already infinite number of - well... numbers - doesn't seem like the most problem-solving method of doing things. But hey. I don't do numbers that much any more. If at all. I've talked before about tax in America and how a dollar burger comes to a dollar and eight cents. That's the extent of my number life at the moment. Exciting stuff.

I was sick this morning. I have had maybe three bouts of being sick in my life. The first was when I was 15. I did not know what was going on. The second was when I found out I'm allergic to Salmon. That's right. Tasty, tasty salmon. I can't eat it. Well I can. But it won't stay down. Then last night I ate something that disagreed with me. All I had was pizza, so I hope I'm not becoming allergic to that... You're more than welcome for the update on my stomach movements.

And finally. I am incredibly pleased to inform you that this is my last post as an unmarried man! I am very excited. It's quite possible that I may post again before the big day, but as there are only 17 days left, I doubt that there will be another update beforehand. I'll definitely post again afterwards - let you know how everything went. Melissa is amazing. Absolutely perfect. The bounce in her step and the twinkle in her eyes make me somersault inside every time I see her. Her heart for God and her heart for the people around her make me jump for joy. It's truly an honour and a privilege to be able to grow old with her and live life together forever.

Until next time.

Knot sure.

I managed to find a few doodles to put up here. That's all for the opening paragraph.

I'm enjoying my time there in the States. It's really nice, but I feel as though I'm falling out of touch with the UK. I was asked yesterday about what the spending was like there - about whether or not Britons buy to excess. I know people over here do. My goodness. You should see the size of some of the portions and containers. I'm thinking of keeping a cereal box from here and using it as a wardrobe when I have kids. It's not that people buy to excess here, rather the food companies make product sizes that fit with what they see as a normal lifestyle. If I were to buy the smallest container of milk I could find, I'd be using it for a week. Really. I've just done it. (It's probably something to do with the fact they use gallons and yards and inches and other silly things).

But my point is - I didn't know what the consumer market was like in the UK. Maybe it's the same? Maybe it's drastically different. I've been here for about 7 months now and I've got used to this way of life. For the most part. People still think I'm a retard for asking for chips with my burger. eh. But when it comes to the little things, they're the things that get forgotten first. How much stamps are. What minimum wage is. What the weather's like. (I realise that the first two are probably things that everyone else in the UK would struggle to answer, but it's surprising how popular the weather small talk is here. It's normally just confined to "Heh. Ah bet y'r us'd t' theyis baak in Ingurlend?! Heh."

Moving on from what I will assume is a well rounded paragraph; it's nice to finally be at a place where only a few people a week recognise the fact that I am not really from around here. Now that I know most of my classmates and now that most of the people at church know me, it's slid nicely back into the novel when someone asks where I'm from. Even better when they ask questions and say things that I can answer and agree with, respectively. Even better when it's not related to the Beetles or Princess Diana or the Queen or London or bands that I haven't heard of or relatives of people here who I have never met or asking me what I think about Obama or something else that can be cut-and-pasted into a different conversation with someone else and not just me please go away.

I shaved my head the other day. Not all of it. Just the top. I got my hair down to a number one. It's shorter than it's ever been. My beard is at a number three which is good for the Heavy Metal Drummer look. I play the drums, so it gives me the feeling that I can pull this off. Just maybe not in church. I don't know. You know what Baptists are like! (I don't).

And finally - the Olympics are here! I have watched the short track skating. It was good because I'm in America and two of my roommates are from South Korea. Imagine the excitement when the two South Koreans won and the American came third. ... yup. That's about all the Olympics I've seen this year. Sorry. Not much more to say on that.

...

Bye.

Oh. Two things.

I'm trying to keep most of my art and doodles and things in another blog of mine - danfairweather.blogspot.com

It's going about as well as this one. I can't remember when I last updated it.

And also.

My fiancée and I got some engagement photos done on Valentine's Day. My good friend John Carrington did them free of charge. It was an amazing afternoon. The pictures are fantastic.

I love her so much.

Bee happy.

Merry Christmas, all. It's a fantastic time of year! Stress, frustration, rushing, hurrying, busyness and having more to do in a day than you'd normally do in a week. It's good, but I think it's probably best that it's kept as an annual thing.

I mean - come on. This whole Jesus thing's getting old, yea? He's best kept as an ornament for the season. I understand. He's a big guy and He's always there. His hands, feet and side make an awful mess, covering us with blood. It's probably for the best that we go and sing to Him without getting too close. I know. Keep Him at a distance. Wouldn't want to mess our clothes.

And all that about forgiveness. Goodness. It's as if He wants us to look past what we've done and just focus on Him. A bit selfish, no? Wanting to be the centre of all we do. Giving us advice and telling us what's best for us. Who does He think He is? Our Creator?!

And what of love? Pah. If we show love we'll have to talk to people we don't like. We'll have to make the time to see people we barely know. We'll have to hear about what they're going through - about what they might need help with.

I'm not sure about you; but this is what I live for.

"Oh, HO," you say, "The ol' switcheroo."

Call me silly, but I love the fact that His blood has covered everything I have done. The fact that when He suffered and died on the cross, it was me He was thinking of.

I know you think that's a bit big-headed, the fact that I think that I was on His mind. Me. One in billions that have since walked - and still walk - the earth. That He would take the time to think of me as an individual. Well. He did. And you. I'm no different to you. I'm a sinner. That's it. Doesn't matter what I've done. If I so much as lie, it's as much a sin in God's eyes as someone who has taken a life without cause. The questions raised from statements like this often seem innumerable, but for each one there is an answer. I'm not claiming I have them all. Far from it. But I can point you in the direction of someone who does.

Truth is, He's by my side day in, day out. He's there to listen, He's there to offer help. So many people have the view that if they follow Jesus, He's going to ask them to do something they don't want to do. That He's going to tell them to go somewhere they don't want to go, to pursue a life that they don't want. If you take the time to actually listen, though, you'll find that this is not the case. His will won't take us out of His protection. His requests won't lead us out of His grace. Cast your cares on Him. Don't fear. He's got your back.

As a side note, many people think that being Christened makes them a Christian. It does not. This is a very dangerous thing to think. If, at the age of 3 months, you were able to make an informed, intelligent, individual, personal decision to follow Christ, then fair enough (what's it like being a genius?). But if your parents though it would either be right or nice to have you sprinkled, you're going to have to rethink. Your parent's faith will not cover you. It is valid for one. Get your own faith.

I tell you now. Following Him has given me a life that I could not have even dreamt about. I am studying in America this year. I have met great people out here and through following Him and getting involved in a church out here I've met a lot of people and done many things that I would never have met or done. I have the most beautiful girl in the world as my fiancée and I can tell you that were it not for God being in our lives and directing our paths, we would never have even known of each other's existence. It's amazing. She's amazing. An absolute gift from God. From the bottom of my heart I beg you to try it. I dare you to try it.

Don't just dismiss it. There's nothing more irritating than people who base their views on what other people tell them or what other people think. For your own opinion. Take everything you've ever been told about Jesus and throw it away. Read the book of John. Or Matthew, or Luke or Mark. Read for yourself the wonders of this guy. Then come back and talk about it like an adult.

And it's fun talking to people. I have been through things that will prove to be a big help to other people I meet in the coming years of my life. And they the same. How do we help each other without talking? How to we help each other without offering advice?

Similarly, how do we maintain relationships without talking and listening to the person? People say they're Christian and people say they worship Jesus. This may be the case, but if you're only talking to Him once a year, I wouldn't shout about it.

My God is as real today as He was on Friday. He's going to be just as real tomorrow. It's not that I'm disrespecting the celebration of His birth or the memory of His death. It's not that I'm belittling them and saying people are silly to get excited, but what are you really getting excited about if it's just the one time a year? I'm not for tradition, I'm for fruition. Christmas and Easter are good and all, but I know they're not all there is about Him.

Just give it a go. What have you got to lose?

God bless, guys.

I love you.

Birthday without presence.

Well. So much for updating it a few days after my last post. A few weeks isn't much different... A lot has gone on over the past month. Let me describe to you a glimpse...

It was my birthday on the 12th of November. I had a really good day despite my friends, my family and my love being 5,000 miles away. I have met some amazing people here over the past few months, however, and hanging out with them was fantastic. I had a few presents sent through to me from my parents and some money put into my account from my grandparents. I opened them with my girlfriend over skype and it was one of the best birthday mornings I have ever had. Later on a couple of people went to a café/restaurant and had a nice evening meal. It was a great day and a lovely way to enter my 24th year of life.

I went to Oregon for Thanksgiving. It is interesting to be part of a celebration in which people are enjoying not being associated with England any more. The meal was nice. Littered with "Oh, you must think this is so strange because you're English" and other such comments. I did not think it was strange. It was a nice day - I got to fulfill my dream of watching an American Football game on Thanksgiving afternoon. The whole week, overall, was very enjoyable. I did have four projects on the go, but to have a little bit of time off was much appreciated. A great deal of that time off was spent playing Modern Warfare II and getting my mate's level up by a great deal. Upon my return home (after having to pay a second time to put my bag on the plane I was on), I went to the fridge to get myself something to eat. As I'm sure some of you will know, going to the fridge after being away on holiday is not one of the things that is at the top of the to-do list. I found food that should not have been found. Food that should not have been there for much more than a day after I left, let alone a week. After throwing out the inedible I was left with two pop tarts and half a jar of peaches. What a feast.

One of the more memorable things I've seen here this semester was a billboard on one of the highways. It was simply telling people to "Eat smaller". That's right. There was a huge sign telling people not to eat as much as they do. Oh, America.

Well. This post was worth the wait.

Wood have been nice.

I have no opening that I can think of at the moment. Take this as a placeholder if you want. It's not going to change, though.

I've stared a sculpture project using wood. I'm very happy. I've never really got into things like that and it's nice to stretch my wings, even though I do so cautiously. It's nice to be able to make things that I haven't made before. It's nice to be able to have the time and the resources to experiment with. I've finished a project that last post's images were relating to. I had to design a poster. It was a nice project. I think I did a good job. I've never done it before, so I have nothing to compare it to at the moment. Oh well. Time will tell, I guess.

Words here are different. Would you believe it?! I thought it was pretty widely known, but I can only assume that it's because I've grown up with American shows as part of my culture. No-one seems to know what Spaced is or whatever spins offs of their shows we have. (I'm thinking Holby City, The Green Wing, etc.) It's probably a good thing that they haven't seen our renditions of their shows. They'd only hate us more. My point is, it's been nice to have to tell people what I'm talking about when I say 'the bin' or 'cheers, mate' or 'rubbish' or 'well good' or other things. I can see it getting old pretty soon, but I'm going to ride the enjoyment wave as it passes.

I haven't really got much more to say, Im afraid. I'm going to update this on my birthday because I've had a brilliant title geared up since June, so I'll make sure I've got something more to talk about then. Oh, how I look forward to turning 23...

Talk to you when I'm a year older, then.

Tee tee eff en.

Daze of yore.

Well this isn't too good. Apologies all round. No post for nearly a month? What have I become?

Cheery corn, cheery oats, cheery rice and wheat. Cheery something something-thing CHEERIOS, so good to eat. I think they're the lyrics. It doesn't matter. My point is that there are four types - if you will - of Cheerios. Americans have five. Five. I don't know what they make the fifth cheerio out of and frankly I don't care. It's just not right. There's no symmetry in it. The spoon will be all over the show.

Another somewhat comical observation here is the fact that tax is put on to things at the till. If the price of an item is on the shelf next to it, you'd better be very good at working out obscure percentages because it's going to be tacked on to it when you get to the paying. I know, it's not comical - even somewhat. I just chuckled bitterly to myself when I thought I had enough for an item from the dollar menu at McDonalds and then had to frantically turn out my pockets in the hope that I wouldn't have the embarrassment of the staff there giving me a dirty, yet pitiful, look as they slowly pour my small portion of fries back into that little heating semi-cabinet that they use. Pah. One dollar eight cents. Pathetic.

One thing that is pretty big over here (or may have been. I'm not the best at keeping up to speed on these things) is the idea of introducing National Health Care. I don't know why I capitalised it. It just seems important. I was asked about the differences the other day. In summary England, with it's healthcare service, gets a lot of free perks. Well, it gets a lot of free everything. It gets completely free everything, in fact. America doesn't. Call me silly, but I can't see why people don't want this.

I went to a petrol station the other day with my mates to get petrol - because that's how we roll. All of the pumps were out of order and we weren't sure why, until a kindly young man came over and informed us that they were too full. Too full. There was too much petrol in their reserve to sell us a few gallons. Just when I started to get my head around the way this country works, BAM. Curveball. I don't know how long the people who owned the station have been in business; and I myself have no business sentience, if I may use that term, but I would like to think that I at least know that selling what your property is renowned for selling - expected to sell, I would go as far as saying - is at the very least the bottom line. The base of all sales. The bread and butter. But I've never owned a petrol station. They call them gas stations here anyway, but that is a whole post by itself.

Actually... Who's up for some crazy word comparisons next time we're here? I know I am.

I'll make a note.

kisses